Batman/Fortnite: Zero Point #4 review

Oh no! Catwoman — or as everyone at DC comics calls her now, apparently, “Cat” (Ugh) — has been taken hostage! Will this cliffhanger from the last issue play out with any tension whatsoever? Or will it be resolved immediately? Come on ya’ll, you know what kind of comic this is. 

STORY

Real talk: I’m completely checked out on this series, folks. I read panel after panel and feel nothing. That is, if you don’t count the sinking dread that coagulates in my stomach just before I wade into every new issue. But I will continue on my grim path. Not because it is my duty, but because I have been warped into a creature of pure spite. I will not be defeated by my condiment surnamed enemy. I will not fall before Mustard. 

On the, er, positive side, they’ve dropped the whole “no one can talk” thing. Was it because they realized it was dumb? Or because they wrote themselves into a corner and couldn’t continue the story with obscure hand gestures and copious amounts of note passing? We’ll never truly know, but I figure it’s a little of the former and a heaping pile of the later. 

Still, the story has technically progressed, and I have questions. What I’m wondering is (to the extent that I wonder anything at all): Are they on a new island? Is this the same island, but sans storm? If it is the same island, where are all the combatants? And why aren’t they thrown back into the twenty minute storm loop. If it isn’t the same island, then why are there two islands? One for fighting and the other for… uh, winner storage? 

Regardless, the girthiest question looms over all others: why couldn’t they have just, you know, MADE A SERIES ABOUT BATMAN FIGHTING FOLKS ON AN ISLAND !?!?

As for the capital P plot: when we last left our heroes, Deathstroke had a gun to Catwoman’s head. This cliffhanger is, of course, resolved immediately without the slightest bit of drama or tension. Almost like it’sa product of cynical, hackneyed writing. Anyway, turns out Deathstroke totally wants to be on team Bat-Cat (yeah… right). And he’s not alone. Lots of Fortnite folks have escaped the storm, and everyone wants to get off this godforsaken island (I feel you). I mean, I think they want to get off the island. Mostly everyone just stands around making cringey childish comments like “No offense, but you’re obviously not the world’s greatest detective or anything” at Batman while he tries to figure out what the hell is going on. At least the Fortnite characters are finally getting a tad more to do than their previous use as action oriented window dressing.

FISHSTICK NOOOOO

Actually, maybe they’re onto something. Batman is dropping some absolutely absurd moon logic deductions. E.g.: On an island/weird dimension where got. damned. portals. are popping up everywhere, Batman decides that the people that built the place need escape hatches that open from both sides. He also, for some reason, explains his reasoning for telling the Fortniters to target the GLOWING RUNES in the foreheads of some golems they were fighting: “They didn’t feel pain or otherwise act alive. Which meant something was animating them, and identifying us as intruders.”

Guess I’m not enough of a galaxy brain high IQ individual to understand.

ART

They changed artists. The art before wasn’t a cool-drink-of-water-in-the-desert-Mustard-has-made-of-my-soul or anything, but it was at least pleasant enough to look at. John Kalisz is still thankfully on colors, but I found the new pencils/inks from Christian Duce decidedly less pleasant. I mean, the art isn’t sloppy or rough, but it is about as blasé as it comes. And Batman’s head keeps changing sizes. At least Duce has toned down Batman’s luscious full-arm hairiness.

In all fairness, the above panel was decent. Fishstick and Voyager (who Batman just assumes can fly, by the way, because reasons) have fun-ish designs. Kalisz’s colors really make them pop. And I don’t know if it was on purpose or just a quirk of such a round-headed character/the perspective but drawing Fishstick in a slightly fish eye perspective is neat. Still, a single decent panel in a whole issue isn’t anything to write your mom about.

Recommended if…

  • Fortnite is the alter at which you worship unquestionably
  • You collect bad DC comics cross promotions
  • You’re stuck on the Fortnite microtransaction hedonic treadmill
  • Seriously though, please, don’t buy this.

OVERALL

Issue #4 of Batman/Fortnite: Zero Point mostly just washed over me. ‘Twas but a series of dull panels. Filled with art that has taken a tumble. With a story that struts and flails about. Featuring a Batman, badly written. Trying to solve a mystery, badly executed. Alas, I will carry on with my grim duty. I mustn’t let my yellow colored foe defeat me. Do not pity me. Pity those who have to buy this nonsense for the skins.

Score: 4/10


Disclaimer: DC Comics provided Batman News with an advance copy of this comic for the purpose of this review.

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